Must be nice to be young again.  My cousin who is 18 yrs old stopped over and was talking on how he has 4 grls he needs to decide who to hook up with or he just might stop by all 4 of their houses.  It must be nice just to have to worry about who he is gonna have sex with for the nite.  Now when I was 18 I wasnt like that.  I was with Adam and was just totally infatuated with him and our relationship.  I never wanted anyone else......UGH!  Young love.......UGH! 

Today when I was getting a couple things from the store I saw cute lil boxes that I guess can hold trinkets or jewelry or hair stuff and I think I am going to get them for my neices.  I was just going to get them Meijer gift cards but this is cheaper since I cant afford alot and the boxes are CUTE!  So this weekend when I have $ I will have to get them.

Nothing else new going on!

My daughter who is 14 1/2 months old is sooooo cute and I just had to write about it  lol  My aunt came home from work sick and coughing and stuff.  Well madison is in her room cuz of course she has to be whereever my aunt is  and I hear my aunt coughing and then I hear Madi coughing.  SHe is such a lil immitator.  its soooo cute though to hear her fake cough.  Thats all i had to write! Nothing else is new or worthy enuff to bore ya with!  :-)  By the way   Why is it when I want to use a smiley it erases what I have written???  That is why I dont use them!

Yesterday I went and picked up my boys from their dads.  It turned out to be a pretty good visit.  After about 2 hours of Madison screaming everytime Adam would come into the room she finally warmed up to him.  She would let him feed her and touch her (he still cant hold her) and then in the end he was actually able to give her kisses.  It touched me so much and made me sooooo happy she finally warmed up to him.  I realize that in another couple of weeks we will be doing this all over again but maybe it will be a lil bit easier and not take 2 hours for her to warm up to him.   I could tell it made him very happy so thats a good thing. 

Woohooo Mike is online so I need to get off of here and mess with him!  LOL  I am soooooo evil!  I will tell ya how it went!  lololol

Such a boring couple of days.  I went grocery shopping yesterday and the rest of the day nothing happened.  Well I did get to sleep in yesterday and today so that helped.  I got to sleep in till 9 instead of my lil one beating me on my head to get up at 7.  She actually let me sleep and left me alone.  She sat there and played with her books and was talking to herself.  It was toooooo cute.

Mike hasnt been online so I could mess with him  :-(  I just want to see what he is up to.  I am really excited about messing with him.  It will be fun!  LOL

Next weekend will be finishing Xmas shopping....WWOOOOHHHOOOO.  Then the weekend after next will be wrapping everything  UUGGHHH!!  THat is the part I am going to hate.  I am just excited to get my shopping done.  Gotta get Madison her gifts, get the boys some stocking stuffers, get my sis something small, get my dad something Nascar (which I need ideas for), and then prolly Adams sister and her 2 kids gift cards cuz I have no clue on what they are into anymore  LOL.  Then that will be all!

In about 3 hours I will be leaving to go pick up my boys so that should be fun....NOT!  Spend a couple of hours there so he can see Madi and then come home.  I have to be home in time for Extreme Home Makeover cuz I believe the kid that is on it has the same bone disease as I do except his is the worse kind.  It says on the preview that his bones are made of glass and that is how mine is but not as bad.  So I really want to see if he has it cuz I never see anyone or know anyone with my disease.  Not sure if I mentioned this in my way earlier posts but i have a brittle bone disease Osteogenisus Imperfecta Tarde (weak bone disease)  My bones break easily.  I never could take gym or do roller skating or things like that.  Never played sports cuz I could break something.  I still live life normally I just have to be careful on what I do.  Now the worse form of mine is where u can jump and break something or just sitting down could cause a break!  Thank god I am not like that!

Here is a question I need help with...my dad is into Nascar  favorite driver is Jimmie Johnson... what can i get him that is Nascar and that isnt too expensive for Xmas?????  I need ideas cuz I have no clue about Nascar...lol

I hope everyone had a safe holiday.  Mine was good.  I went up to my aunts house about an hr away.  Madison looked so cute in her dress and the boys behaved so it was a really good day.  Adam took the boys for the weekend and when he picked up the boys he came in and once again Madi screamed her lil head off.  I wish things would change when it comes to her screaming for him but there is nothing I can do about it.  Adam wont make any attempt to come see her more often.  I feel sorry for him to a point cuz his own child wont go to him and is scared shitless of him but its his fault that she hasnt gotten to spend more time with him. 

I have no plans this weekend except to go out to Adams to pick up the boys.  I was gonna go meet Mike again but decided to cancel out on him...LOL  He wasnt too happy but I didnt care!  At least I told him I wasnt gonna be there.  I could have played him like he did me but I am not like that.  He said he cancelled plans he had so he could meet me....uuummm can we say BULLSHIT!  LOL  Sorry I have a hard time trusting people.  OMG  I have another name on AOL and I switched to that today and guess who IMed me......MIKE!  I played like I was someone else and he had no clue so now I can see what he is really like and what he is really up to.  I love it when I can do shit like this so noone will play me.  I am such an evil bitch when I think i am being played.  He tells ME that there isnt anyone else and he doesnt want to meet anyone else so now i can see if its actually true especially after we do meet.  This will be interesting!  The only thing good of ever being with cheaters and liars is u learn how to play their game better then they have played it.  I have never lied nor cheated BUT i sure in the hell know how to go about finding out if they are lying without them suspecting!  Gotta luv the lil devil inside me!  lolololol

Its almost time for me to go to bed but I am sooooo bored and want something to do so guess what????....i decided to write in here and bore everyone else with what I write.  I think I write alot in here just to vent cuz I really dont have anyone to vent to so this helps.

As for the Mike situation I have no clue.  He got mad cuz I thought he was lying.....well who wouldnt think that....duh!  So maybe this weekend we are going to meet but I am not holding my breath and I am DEFINITLY NOT going to drive all that way for him NOT to show up again so he is goin to have to call me and let me know he will be there.  This time though I might have my daughter with me cuz I dont want my aunt to keep having to watch her but with me not leaving till around her bedtime then my aunt just might watch her for me.  Dunno yet and dont really care!

Kris is at camp.  I wonder how he is doing.  He didnt want to go last nite cuz he said he would miss me and that bedtime would be the worst cuz he would think about me but I told him all would be OK and its only 1 nite so it wouldnt be long.  No calls so thats a good thing.

I talked to Jeanine (Adams gf) today.  Her sister is going to buy the kids some clothers for Xmas....not sure exactly why she would when I dont think she has ever seen my kids but HEY I get free clothes for the kids out of the deal.  I dont think I ever explained who Jeanine is.....gawd this could be a long story but I will make it short.  Jeanine is or was or I have no clue so we will just say IS a friend of mine and has been since high school so way over 10 yrs I have been friends with her.  She was invited to my wedding but couldnt go.  We have drifted apart throughout the yrs cuz her hubby at the time was an ass and never liked her talking to me plus she moved far away but we always tried talking to one another at LEAST once every couple of months and I ALWAYS considered her a good friend.  Well over a yr ago I guess her and Adam starting talking and hooking up with one another when her marriage started going down hill.  Where is the friend loyalty???  Hell if I know!  I realize Adam and I arent together but my motto is and has always has been u dont date your friends ex's NO MATTER WHAT!  She knows this all too well and she agreed with it too but I guess things changed when her and Adam talked alot more.  UUUGGGHHH!!!  SO now those 2 have been together almost a yr and she just moved in with him about a month ago.  I am sure I wrote about that.  So now its odd talking to her cuz stuff I used to be able to tell her I cant cuz then she will go off and tell Adam.  So the situation is odd but I handle it very well cuz I have no other choice.  She will just be on the LONG list of Adam's ex's.  She doesnt think she will be but I SOOOOO Know better!  I know Adam so well.  Better than anyone does and it wont last longer than another 2-3 yrs at the most!  Just hopefull she doesnt get pregnant by him cuz then that will add another kid in the mix and she will be an ex that has to stick around and that I have to deal with!  LOLOL 

Anyway I got off the subject...Jeanine and I talked about Xmas and what they got the boys.    The boys are going to play with what they got them ONCE and that will be it.  They got them Yu GI Oh figures and some other men.  The boys arent into that anymore but heaven forbid I try to tell Adam that.  So when the boys dont play with them cuz they are getting older and out of that stuff then Adam will bitch that he wasted his $ but YET  he NEVER asked what they wanted cuz his KNOW IT ALL attitude thinks he does!  The boys are getting into bigger stuff and more expensive stuff and Adam doesnt want to spend the $.  He could have just bought them a couple games for his PS2 but heaven forbid they play his game system.  That just aggravates me to no end but I dont have a right to say anything cuz his house.

Still not sure how Adam is going to do Xmas eve this yr.  So far his sister is still having it so I guess I will be going so his family can see Madison.  I need to bring her to his Grandmas because its been since last Xmas since she saw her.  I am definitly not good at that.  If u are wondering about Adams parents...both his parents have passed.  His father passed right when we first started dating 15 yrs ago and his mom passed almost 3 yrs ago.  The hardest thing I ever had to go through when she passed and I still miss her so much!

I guess I will know at the last minute about Xmas eve!  UGH!  Just relieving my thoughts out tonite.  SOrry so long!

Guess what..........It happened to me AGAIN!!!!!  UUUGGGHHH!!!  I was supposed to meet Mike on Saturday and ONCE AGAIN he didnt show up!  Got home and had an email from him ONCE AGAIN apologizing saying he was sick and didnt wake up in time.  GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

The kids are driving me nuts.  The baby is extremely whiny and I am going insane!  LOL  Kris is going to Camp for 1 nite starting tomorrow with his class so I get one nite of a lil bit of peace and quiet.  Then Thanksgiving break starts!  UGH!  I just hope the boys are good.  I have been sooooo bitchy the past few days.  I think with the holidays coming up and the kids not behaving and no boyfriend in sight its starting to get to me.  I realize I am ready for a relationship but the only way I can find someone is on here cuz I dont go out to bars or clubs cuz noone to go out with cuz all my friends are married.  So I am stuck finding someone on here and thats hard to do.  UGH!

I wish I could have slept ALL day.  I got online and was arguing with Adam.  Gotta luv fighting over stupid shit. He was pissed off cuz when I picked up the boys on Sunday that I was messing with him and his GF and I were ganging up on him and he couldnt stand it so I got this big huge lecture from him today.....UGH!  Big baby!   Al l the yrs that him and his uncle would joke around with me now I can actually get him back a little and he doesnt like it and thinks I am acting wierd and cant handle him being with his current gf since she WAS my friend.  That has nothing to do with it and he just doesnt understand it.  BLAH!  Then he started in on me about wanting to take Xmas away from Kris since Kris has no respect for me and all he does is scream at me and refuses to do stuff.  I prolly wouldnt even take away his Xmas but i dont c anything in threatening it but of course Adam had to lecture me about that.  He has no damn clue on how Kris treats me but yet I cant think of ways to help curve that.    If he would take more interest in his sons life I may not have to be going through this crap.  I know Kris has more issues than just him and i and I do believe ALOT of it has to do with his dad.  Kris takes it out on me cuz I am the full time parent and always here for him no matter what.   I do think I am going to look into counseling for him at the beginning of the Yr when he starts back to school after Xmas break.  I need to know whats going on with him.  Adam says he would take Kris but I dont want that.  That wouldnt help my problem with the way he treats me.  I just dont know what to do anymore!  HELP ME DR. PHIL!  LOLOLOLOL

I am most likely going to meet Mike this Sat IF he shows up!  LOL  I saw him on webcam yesterday and he is soooooo cute.  So at least i know he is who he says he is cuz I was getting a lil worried that he sent me a pic of a different guy and that wasnt him!  LOL  Hopefully all goes well for Sat but I am not getting my hopes up.

I talked to Mike for a couple of hrs last nite.  He kept apologizing over and over so I agreed we could meet again but not too sure when.  He wasnt too happy that I didnt know when I could do it but Oh well!  He had his chance and messed it up.

Madi's rash has cleared up but if she gets pissed off then it comes back!  LOLOL  I hope this doesnt keep up cuz I will feel bad everytime she gets mad if she gets the rash!  LOLOL 

Right now just enjoying my peace and quiet before the boys come home.  Madi is napping and my aunt and cousin went to a flea market.  I was supposed to go but Just didnt feel like it.

Before I go into the other crap that has happened I will update ya on Madison.  I took Madison up to Urgent care cuz her regular doc wasnt opened today.  She has hives.  She is having an allergic reaction to something and we just dont know what.  It comes and goes.  Its the wierdest thing.  When she is really warm  is when she breaks out.   She si goint to have sensitive skin it looks like.   My oldest has sensitive skin also.  She is going to have to take cool baths so she doesnt break out cuz of the warmness.

NOW off to the other news........I drove fuckin 40 minutes meet Mike and guess what...........He didnt fuckin show.  I wrote him an email telling him I still could do it PLUS I called his cell and left a message!  Needless to say he didnt show and then I get home and guess who is online...........MIKE!  Supposedly he slept all day and didnt wake up till 9pm and we were supposed to meet at 8pm.  I have no clue on what the hell is up with him.  He says he is really sorry and still wants to meet but I jsut dont know!  I am severely pissed off. He knows this also but doesnt understand it......DDDDUUUUHHHH!!!!  He says I shouldnt have gone since I didnt talk to him BUT yet I have NEVER talked to him on the phone  Just on here!  So how the hell was i supposed to fuckin know!  We are maybe planning on meetng again but this time I AM NOT going to drive all that way  He can drive twds me!  We will just have to c!

Well tomorrow nite may not happen.  :-(  Madison has this bad rash all over her body.  The nurse said its prolly a viral infection and if the rash doesnt clear up in 48 hrs to bring her in.  I woke up this morning and she looked better.  Some of it has gone away but now in the past couple hours she has totally broken out on her neck and face and her face looks awful!  She still is acting normal.  Just a bit more fussy.  So if it doesnt look better tomorrow I will have to make a dr's appt and prolly have to stay home with her tomorrow nite to take care of her.  I havent been out in over a yr and now this crap happens!  I just hope he wont get pissed off that I cant meet him. I told him yesterday about her rash and he said for me to stay home if I have to but I am just sooooooo upset by all this.

I talked to Adam (my ex the father of my kids) today.  He is taking the boys this weekend....wwwoohhoooo.  He had court on Wed about his grls.  The mother of his grls, Renee, was fighting to keep custody from her mother and Adam had to be there to testify on behalf of HER mother.  Renee is real flighty and puts her needs in front of her children.  The grls were in  and out of schools last yr at least 10x and she is constantly moving and not stable.  Well come to find out that her mother didnt get custody of the grls.   Renee still has them BUT if she screws up the grls will be given to Adam.  Adam didnt think he could get them cuz he didnt have a lawyer representing him cuz he couldnt afford one and he didnt think the courts would consider giving the grls to him cuz he lives in a 1 bdr apt and doesnt make too much $.  But the Judge told Renee that if she didnt straighten up that he would give Adam custody of the grls.  That makes me soooooo happy!    If her mother would have gotten them the grls then would have been in South Carolina and that would have been too far from Adam and my boys.  My boys love their sisters alot and get soooo excited to see them.  The grls are sweethearts and i love them to death!  I just dont like their mother and she doesnt like me!  LOL    Thank god that Adam can get them if Renee screws up!

I will write more tomorrow if I can and update ya about Madi and my maybe date!  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Nothing exciting goin on but I just thought I would write.  So far I am still meeting that guy on Sat.  I sooooo hope it works out.  I am sick of being single and not doing anything.  I just dont want to get hurt that is why I have been single for sooooo long.

Both my boys had good report cards.  My oldest could have done better in his but his still wasnt bad.  His problem is he rushes through his work and tests and never double checks so he gets things wrong when he knows he shouldnt have if he would have slowed down.

Madison has a sty on her upper eye lid.  I had to take her to the doc on Sat.  Its not called a sty when its on the upper lid but I cant think of the name now.  LOL  She is on eye drops and its going away but now the other half of her eye is looking bad.  Hopefully when she is off this medicine that her eye will look better.

Oh yeah.........this guy named Dave who I hooked up with a couple of yrs ago showed up on my yahoo messenger yesterday.  I freaked out and got all excited.  He was sooooo sweet and so awesome.  It just didnt work out cuz he lived in Toledo which is about 5 hrs away and then he ended up finding someone closer.  I ended up IMing him yesterday.  He said my SN sounded familiar and that was all he said.........GGGRRRRRRRRRRR.  I am sooo hoping i will see him again online.  I dont know if he is single or not.  I did put in his old name on Pogo and his profile says he has 2 boys so it would be interesting if he has kids now.  Thats 2 kids in less than 2 yrs so they are little.  His relationship status says to ask and he may tell so that doesnt give me any info on whether he is single or not.  I just wish I could remember his other yahoo names.  I ended up deleting the other 2 but saved the one he used most just in case he would show back up and be single!  :-)

Thats all for now!  Not sure if I will write again till after the weekend unless I am bored or have news!

Nothing exciting goin on but I just thought I would write.  So far I am still meeting that guy on Sat.  I sooooo hope it works out.  I am sick of being single and not doing anything.  I just dont want to get hurt that is why I have been single for sooooo long.

Both my boys had good report cards.  My oldest could have done better in his but his still wasnt bad.  His problem is he rushes through his work and tests and never double checks so he gets things wrong when he knows he shouldnt have if he would have slowed down.

Madison has a sty on her upper eye lid.  I had to take her to the doc on Sat.  Its not called a sty when its on the upper lid but I cant think of the name now.  LOL  She is on eye drops and its going away but now the other half of her eye is looking bad.  Hopefully when she is off this medicine that her eye will look better.

Oh yeah.........this guy named Dave who I hooked up with a couple of yrs ago showed up on my yahoo messenger yesterday.  I freaked out and got all excited.  He was sooooo sweet and so awesome.  It just didnt work out cuz he lived in Toledo which is about 5 hrs away and then he ended up finding someone closer.  I ended up IMing him yesterday.  He said my SN sounded familiar and that was all he said.........GGGRRRRRRRRRRR.  I am sooo hoping i will see him again online.  I dont know if he is single or not.  I did put in his old name on Pogo and his profile says he has 2 boys so it would be interesting if he has kids now.  Thats 2 kids in less than 2 yrs so they are little.  His relationship status says to ask and he may tell so that doesnt give me any info on whether he is single or not.  I just wish I could remember his other yahoo names.  I ended up deleting the other 2 but saved the one he used most just in case he would show back up and be single!  :-)

Thats all for now!  Not sure if I will write again till after the weekend unless I am bored or have news!

This weekend wasnt a bad weekend.  I did alot of grocery shopping at 2 different stores.  Gotta luv the stuff on sale.....LOL  I also did Xmas shopping.  My boys are done with their Xmas.  Its going to be a small Xmas this yr but at least they got stuff.   My boys are soooo hard to buy for.  They are 10 and 7 and they arent into any particular except wrestling guys and they have almost all of them so trying to think of stuff to get them that I havent told other family members to get was VERY hard.  Now getting my soon to be 14 month old baby grl stuff is going to be easy and I will do that next month.  I have sooooo many ideas for her.  

My boys were over all good this weekend so that made it SO much easier.   This Sat I am supposed to meet Mike.  I guess that is still in the works but I guess I will have to c if that happens or not.  I just wish he would make more of an effort to talk to me or call.  I ALWAYS IM him.  He never IMs me first anymore.  He seems excited to talk to me but u never know since its on the internet.  He doesnt ever call me and that pisses me off so this is going to be very interesting if we meet. 

Gotta get off of here and change a stinky diaper......YUCK!  LOL  Just thought I would let u all know what I am doing!  LOL 

My daughter who is almost 14 months old is walking on her own now.  Not sure if that is a good thing or not...LOL  Now she is able to get to things when she couldnt before.  But she is soooo cute when she walks.  She holds her hands up and smiles cuz she thinks she is so cute.  LOL  She started doing this last week but now she has really been walking alot more on her own and not crawling or scooting.

I have no plans for this weekend.  I get to go to the grocery store now that I have the food card!  WOOHOOO!  We are doing steaks Sat nite for dinner and I am craving that!  Alot of the good food is on sale so thats all good. 

I am still talking to that guy named Mike.  We were supposed to maybe meet this weekend but I cant so hopefully next weekend we can and that will be easier with my boys at their dads.  Then my aunt only has to watch Madison.  It will be interesting if we actually get to meet and c if he actually goes through with it.  I am not counting on it but like I said I will c how it goes.

Thank goodness this election crap is almost over.  Of course I live in the state thats holding things up (OHIO).  So of course we will still be hearing about it but NO Phone calls and no pesty annoying people showing up at the door.

As for the Mike business I guess I wont be meeting him cuz he hasnt talked to me in a couple of days and I sent him an email yesterday which I know he has read (gotta luv AOL to check status) but never responded to.  Note to self.....never send pic out again.  I am defnitly not ugly but I am not all that either!  People call me cute!  5ft redhair hazel eyes 135 lbs but I guess guys want these HOT women and I definitly am not one of them!  LOL

This weekend I will hopefully be going Xmas shopping.... wwwoohhhhooo!  I will hopefully get it at least half way done then I dont have to bother with it later!  I already know what I am getting my kids so there is a huge step right there.  Everyone else isnt getting much cuz I dont have the $ and certain family members just dont deserve much....LOL